Hey, last night I just told you that if there was a thing I am really afraid of, it would be death, right?
Here, I come back and tell you, I've just found another thing that I am really scared. Listen to my story, then you will know what it is.
This morning was supposed to be a peaceful morning. I was sleeping soundly when suddenly I heard the noise. How I hope I could just ignore it and continue my sleep. But I could not. I woke up and found that my sister was prying from the half-opened door, checking what actually was going on.
I asked her, "Hey, what happens? Ughh, where is the noise from?"
She did not answer. My eyes were so heavy that time. So I decided to continue my sleep.
Suddenly, I heard the noise again. My mom's voice, jabbering, not really clear (was it because I was still sleeping, so I could not hear properly?) Well, it might be. I opened my eyes again, but I could not find my sister. She was not there.
Someone bumped the door. Another door, not my door. I guess it's my mom's door. I tried to set my ears well, so I could figure out what on the earth was happening. And what I expected was not mistaken. It's a fight. My parents were quarreling outside my room. Just hearing it, I knew it was serious. It was a terrible fight since my mom was crying that time.
Seriously, I was scared that time. I jumped from my bed and opened my door a bit. I've never seen them quarreling for months, and the fight was really terrifying me. I don't want to discuss what the cause of the fight was, it's just too complicated. I only know that my mom was not wrong.
I was terribly sad when I heard the fact from my sister. It's hurtful, knowing that my father cares of his friends more than he cares of his family. I'm so damn afraid that he will leave us someday, get influenced by his evil friends hence I will see my mom crying again. I don't want it to happen. I don't want. Seriously, I want it to be the least possibility of all.
God, help us. Don't let my father fall into that fool sin.
How I hate all my father's friends! How I hope they would disappear and stop disturbing our family!
~Asa~
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Death
Hi blog, I know it's not a nice topic to be discussed. I just can't help myself not to think about it since I heard a bad news about my high school friend. It's been around a week since I knew someone's passed away in an accident, and sadly, he's my high school friend.
I may say that we're not close enough to be considered as "friend". I just knew him and he knew me. That's it. We never even said "hi" to each other when we fortuitously met at the school's corridor. We were in different class, different environment and anything happened to him actually was not my business.Well, no offense, I never meant anything, but it's just I did not feel any "lost" feeling. It was mean though.
However, I keep sensing something really weird inside here, my heart, which I really don't know why I do, I just know that if there was a thing I have always been really afraid of, it would be death.
Just thinking that if the accident happened to me, or to people which are close to me and to whom I love so much, I would not know how I react (well um, if it happened to me, then I would not even have a chance to react, I guess), but sure yeah, I am really scared of death. I tried to find the reason, is it because I am not faithful enough to my religion? (I mean is it related to hell and heaven thing?)
No, obviously it's not. I have my belief. I have religion. I believe in God. My teacher told me that if I believe in God, I should not be afraid of anything, including death. I know it. In God, what we are supposed to be afraid of?
Nothing. We are too strong to be defeated.
Well, I have guts to say that, but I just do not brave enough to say that I am ready to die. Anytime. Anywhere. Just think about it, about my high school friend, he was still 18 years old that time. Suddenly death approached him and took his soul away. Same thing happened to my primary school friend. Long time ago, when I was 9 years old, I heard that he had passed away because of malaria. It's just kinda too soon. I mean, you just saw him playing around you, joking and laughing together with you until suddenly you heard that he was dead. Well, it's undeniable shocking, right?
I almost experienced it. The death, I mean. It happened when I was 7 or 8 years old. I fainted for many times. First time (it was still a mystery how it could happen to me), I fainted when I was taking bath with my sister. Okay, you may laugh, but we used to take bath together, and hey, we were still little kids that time! No worries =), I suffered from convulsions. I would have bit my tongue off if my father had not put something into my mouth for me to bite. Hence, they brought me to hospital. They placed me in "ICU" with the "electrocardiogram" thing attached to my body.
When I was eventually aware, I did not even remember a thing. I did not have idea why I was lying down there with many weird equipments attached to my body. They said I was fainted for 3 hours. They were all crying for me. I did not really really have idea why they cried. Did they think I would die that time? Well, to be honest, I felt that I was dying that time. I could not even feel anything. Cold, pain and suffering, what were those all? I could hear nothing also. I felt like I had been already dead that time.
And when I finally woke up, I felt like my brain was empty. I could not even find a word to speak out. I did not have enough energy to talk either. And I still remember that something was choking my throat, kind of medical thing, I did not know what was that, I just remembered the feel when that thing was stuck to my throat. It's so damn painful!
And not only that. I fainted again in front of my primary school. Twice.
Hell, I don't even want to imagine how if I experience it again!
Now, remembering all those things I had been through, gives me that feeling. I AM SCARED OF DEATH, literally.
Sometimes I remember my brother, Rico, who had passed away years ago. If I had really died that time, I would have met him. Well, it's not the kind of meeting that I really want. I could not imagine also, how my mom would be if she lost her 2 kids, it surely would be too much pain for her to hold back. Now, I am so grateful that actually God is still loving me. He wants me to stay alive, to make my mom happy. God, you know, I love my mom so much although I always make her disappointed. I do not purposely do that. I just cannot find a way to make her happy.
Losing my brother, crying in front of my grandma's graveyard and shocking after hearing another bad news about people around me were just too enough. I just don't have any idea, why there was death in life. Will it be fairer if all people can grow old together, and finally come back to You, God, together also? Losing, sadness, woe, and fear, we will not experience them, or I should say, we will not even know what they are.
~Asa~
I may say that we're not close enough to be considered as "friend". I just knew him and he knew me. That's it. We never even said "hi" to each other when we fortuitously met at the school's corridor. We were in different class, different environment and anything happened to him actually was not my business.Well, no offense, I never meant anything, but it's just I did not feel any "lost" feeling. It was mean though.
However, I keep sensing something really weird inside here, my heart, which I really don't know why I do, I just know that if there was a thing I have always been really afraid of, it would be death.
Just thinking that if the accident happened to me, or to people which are close to me and to whom I love so much, I would not know how I react (well um, if it happened to me, then I would not even have a chance to react, I guess), but sure yeah, I am really scared of death. I tried to find the reason, is it because I am not faithful enough to my religion? (I mean is it related to hell and heaven thing?)
No, obviously it's not. I have my belief. I have religion. I believe in God. My teacher told me that if I believe in God, I should not be afraid of anything, including death. I know it. In God, what we are supposed to be afraid of?
Nothing. We are too strong to be defeated.
Well, I have guts to say that, but I just do not brave enough to say that I am ready to die. Anytime. Anywhere. Just think about it, about my high school friend, he was still 18 years old that time. Suddenly death approached him and took his soul away. Same thing happened to my primary school friend. Long time ago, when I was 9 years old, I heard that he had passed away because of malaria. It's just kinda too soon. I mean, you just saw him playing around you, joking and laughing together with you until suddenly you heard that he was dead. Well, it's undeniable shocking, right?
I almost experienced it. The death, I mean. It happened when I was 7 or 8 years old. I fainted for many times. First time (it was still a mystery how it could happen to me), I fainted when I was taking bath with my sister. Okay, you may laugh, but we used to take bath together, and hey, we were still little kids that time! No worries =), I suffered from convulsions. I would have bit my tongue off if my father had not put something into my mouth for me to bite. Hence, they brought me to hospital. They placed me in "ICU" with the "electrocardiogram" thing attached to my body.
When I was eventually aware, I did not even remember a thing. I did not have idea why I was lying down there with many weird equipments attached to my body. They said I was fainted for 3 hours. They were all crying for me. I did not really really have idea why they cried. Did they think I would die that time? Well, to be honest, I felt that I was dying that time. I could not even feel anything. Cold, pain and suffering, what were those all? I could hear nothing also. I felt like I had been already dead that time.
And when I finally woke up, I felt like my brain was empty. I could not even find a word to speak out. I did not have enough energy to talk either. And I still remember that something was choking my throat, kind of medical thing, I did not know what was that, I just remembered the feel when that thing was stuck to my throat. It's so damn painful!
And not only that. I fainted again in front of my primary school. Twice.
Hell, I don't even want to imagine how if I experience it again!
Now, remembering all those things I had been through, gives me that feeling. I AM SCARED OF DEATH, literally.
Sometimes I remember my brother, Rico, who had passed away years ago. If I had really died that time, I would have met him. Well, it's not the kind of meeting that I really want. I could not imagine also, how my mom would be if she lost her 2 kids, it surely would be too much pain for her to hold back. Now, I am so grateful that actually God is still loving me. He wants me to stay alive, to make my mom happy. God, you know, I love my mom so much although I always make her disappointed. I do not purposely do that. I just cannot find a way to make her happy.
Losing my brother, crying in front of my grandma's graveyard and shocking after hearing another bad news about people around me were just too enough. I just don't have any idea, why there was death in life. Will it be fairer if all people can grow old together, and finally come back to You, God, together also? Losing, sadness, woe, and fear, we will not experience them, or I should say, we will not even know what they are.
~Asa~
Thursday, November 25, 2010
25 November 2010
It means, it's been 5 years since the first time I realized that the feeling was special. I don't want to talk much about it, since I know I am not supposed to discuss that thing publicly.
Well, I promise myself that I am gonna forget this feeling no matter what. He does not belong to me, and he will never be mine. Seriously.
I told myself I should stop hopping, and this is what I do. I know that actually hope is a waking dream. But ironic, the hope is not mine.
And again, I am not the protagonist, that's why I should quit my acting. I should face the reality and try to love another guy. Sure. I will do it.
Because I know, my life is better without him.
~Asa~
Well, I promise myself that I am gonna forget this feeling no matter what. He does not belong to me, and he will never be mine. Seriously.
I told myself I should stop hopping, and this is what I do. I know that actually hope is a waking dream. But ironic, the hope is not mine.
And again, I am not the protagonist, that's why I should quit my acting. I should face the reality and try to love another guy. Sure. I will do it.
Because I know, my life is better without him.
~Asa~
Late b'day present
I wanna thank my Mom, my sister, my brothers and their girlfriends for the late birthday presents. At least now I know they care about me and they do still love me =D
I appreciate all your effort for doing so, especially when you purposely printed out "TWEETY" pictures for me because you said my face look like TWEETY, Err... do I? Hmm...
My mom gave me a beautiful bracelet. I like it so much, although it's not made from gold. Haha. My sister knew I like swimming and I only have a 5RM swimming goggle, so she bought me a nice goggle (brand : speedo) =D I like it! Thanks!
And you would never expect what my brother, Anton and his girlfriend, Yurica gave me! Muahahaha! It's shocking! They gave me err... errr... hahahahha, bra and underwear! one set! pink color! Seriously, I can't imagine how my brother went to that "kind" of shop and bought 1set of lingerie! HAHAHA XD
But I guess my brother did not come along to buy those things, only his girlfriend. Maybe. =D
Doraemon's set from Jz, Andi's girlfriend =D, like this! ^^
Who knows that actually the things inside are bra and underwear? HAHAHAHAHAHA XD
The strangest present EVER! See, the head and the tail. Did they try to imitate an animal but then they fail to do so? HAHAHAHA XD
They said, the TWEETY at the picture looks like me =_="
The greeting card. They printed it =D
All the present, from Mom, Sis and Bro. XD
They are cute, aren't they? =D
~Asa~
I appreciate all your effort for doing so, especially when you purposely printed out "TWEETY" pictures for me because you said my face look like TWEETY, Err... do I? Hmm...
My mom gave me a beautiful bracelet. I like it so much, although it's not made from gold. Haha. My sister knew I like swimming and I only have a 5RM swimming goggle, so she bought me a nice goggle (brand : speedo) =D I like it! Thanks!
And you would never expect what my brother, Anton and his girlfriend, Yurica gave me! Muahahaha! It's shocking! They gave me err... errr... hahahahha, bra and underwear! one set! pink color! Seriously, I can't imagine how my brother went to that "kind" of shop and bought 1set of lingerie! HAHAHA XD
But I guess my brother did not come along to buy those things, only his girlfriend. Maybe. =D
They are cute, aren't they? =D
~Asa~
Home sweet home
Aloha!
Actually they are true. Home is the best place to stay. It gives me different feeling from when I was staying in my hostel in Malaysia. I like here most! How I hope I could stay in my home sweet home forever! LOL XD
Well, you may consider that I was homesick. That's true. I missed my home all the time. Usually, I prefer stay at home to hang out with my friend. And well... I love my family so much! I really appreciate this three months holiday, although the fact that I will get bored as soon as I finish watching all the dramas and reading all the novels and manga. Hahaha =D But I really want to spend my holiday nicely, I mean, I wanna do something different during this summer holidays. Learning how to bake cake maybe, or trying how to knit etc =)
The pictures above are some parts in my house (my favorite rooms) =D I used to sit in front of my computer, typing and pretending that I was a busy business woman lol XD
~ASa~
Actually they are true. Home is the best place to stay. It gives me different feeling from when I was staying in my hostel in Malaysia. I like here most! How I hope I could stay in my home sweet home forever! LOL XD
Well, you may consider that I was homesick. That's true. I missed my home all the time. Usually, I prefer stay at home to hang out with my friend. And well... I love my family so much! I really appreciate this three months holiday, although the fact that I will get bored as soon as I finish watching all the dramas and reading all the novels and manga. Hahaha =D But I really want to spend my holiday nicely, I mean, I wanna do something different during this summer holidays. Learning how to bake cake maybe, or trying how to knit etc =)
The pictures above are some parts in my house (my favorite rooms) =D I used to sit in front of my computer, typing and pretending that I was a busy business woman lol XD
~ASa~
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Hometown
Hey, I am here, in my hometown
Sekarang ini, aku sedang duduk di tempat favoritku, seperti biasanya. Facing my keyboard, typing, enjoying my night in my own house.
Serius, aku benar-benar senang bisa kembali ke kampung halamanku, Pematangsiantar. Ini kota terhebat yang pernah kutinggali. Aku merasa nyaman di sini. No doubt. Berbeda betul dengan saat aku tinggal di Sunway, atau di kota mana pun selain kota ini (bukannya aku bermaksud membanding-bandingkan). Aku nggak tau kenapa, padahal kota ini sebenarnya bukan kota kelahiranku. Siantar cuman kota kecil yang punya dua jalan besar. Nggak ada cinema 21 di sini. Nggak ada mall (kalau Siantar Plaza dan Ramayana terhitung sebagai mall, lain ceritanya), nggak ada starbucks, nggak ada j.co, mcD, atau franchise lain selain KFC dan CFC. Hebat!
Tapi aku betah tinggal di sini. Ini kota favoritku. Aku suka rumahku, kamarku, suasana di dekat sini, semuanya membuatku merasa nyaman. Aku suka pianoku, buku-bukuku, komputerku, cermin raksasaku, aku suka apapun yang ada di rumahku!
Lain kali aku bakal menge-post foto-fotonya kalau aku sempat =D
Oh ya, sekarang aku mengerti betapa keluargaku mencintaiku. Terkadang, aku malah merasa mereka memperlakukanku berlebihan. Mereka terlalu baik, membuatku takut kalau-kalau suatu saat aku mengecewakan mereka, entah bagaimana jadinya. Sekarang ini aku juga sibuk mengkhawatirkan hasil belajarku selama semester pertama di Monash (hasilnya bakal keluar tanggal 3 desember nanti, membuatku takut setengah mati). Aku harap nggak akan ada hal buruk yang terjadi. Haiz
Bad news, beberapa bulan aku di Malaysia, bahasa inggrisku benar-benar jadi kacau. Hal yang kutakutkan sebelum aku pergi benar-benar terjadi. It becomes Singapore-English =(
Fortunately, aku berhasil menutupinya! Biasanya, kokoku selalu bicara dengan bahasa inggris padaku. Aku berusaha mengembalikan aksenku yang dulu, selama bicara dengannya (sebisa mungkin menghilangkan aksen chinese yang kupakai tanpa sengaja di Malaysia), dan aku berhasil =D
Aku berjanji dalam hati, kalau aku nggak bakal terpengaruh lagi dengan nada itu (pertama kali aku datang ke sana, mereka langsung tau kalau aku bukan Malaysian, karena aku nggak bicara dengan nada sing-lish, tapi sekarang mereka nggak lagi bisa membedakan, apakah aku malaysian atau indonesian) =.="
Well umm, it's time to sleep I guess! Waaah, How I love to be at home again!! =D
Naa, oyasuminasai, minna
kyou wa, watashi wa hontou ni ureshii desu!!! XD
Jya ne
~ASa~
Sekarang ini, aku sedang duduk di tempat favoritku, seperti biasanya. Facing my keyboard, typing, enjoying my night in my own house.
Serius, aku benar-benar senang bisa kembali ke kampung halamanku, Pematangsiantar. Ini kota terhebat yang pernah kutinggali. Aku merasa nyaman di sini. No doubt. Berbeda betul dengan saat aku tinggal di Sunway, atau di kota mana pun selain kota ini (bukannya aku bermaksud membanding-bandingkan). Aku nggak tau kenapa, padahal kota ini sebenarnya bukan kota kelahiranku. Siantar cuman kota kecil yang punya dua jalan besar. Nggak ada cinema 21 di sini. Nggak ada mall (kalau Siantar Plaza dan Ramayana terhitung sebagai mall, lain ceritanya), nggak ada starbucks, nggak ada j.co, mcD, atau franchise lain selain KFC dan CFC. Hebat!
Tapi aku betah tinggal di sini. Ini kota favoritku. Aku suka rumahku, kamarku, suasana di dekat sini, semuanya membuatku merasa nyaman. Aku suka pianoku, buku-bukuku, komputerku, cermin raksasaku, aku suka apapun yang ada di rumahku!
Lain kali aku bakal menge-post foto-fotonya kalau aku sempat =D
Oh ya, sekarang aku mengerti betapa keluargaku mencintaiku. Terkadang, aku malah merasa mereka memperlakukanku berlebihan. Mereka terlalu baik, membuatku takut kalau-kalau suatu saat aku mengecewakan mereka, entah bagaimana jadinya. Sekarang ini aku juga sibuk mengkhawatirkan hasil belajarku selama semester pertama di Monash (hasilnya bakal keluar tanggal 3 desember nanti, membuatku takut setengah mati). Aku harap nggak akan ada hal buruk yang terjadi. Haiz
Bad news, beberapa bulan aku di Malaysia, bahasa inggrisku benar-benar jadi kacau. Hal yang kutakutkan sebelum aku pergi benar-benar terjadi. It becomes Singapore-English =(
Fortunately, aku berhasil menutupinya! Biasanya, kokoku selalu bicara dengan bahasa inggris padaku. Aku berusaha mengembalikan aksenku yang dulu, selama bicara dengannya (sebisa mungkin menghilangkan aksen chinese yang kupakai tanpa sengaja di Malaysia), dan aku berhasil =D
Aku berjanji dalam hati, kalau aku nggak bakal terpengaruh lagi dengan nada itu (pertama kali aku datang ke sana, mereka langsung tau kalau aku bukan Malaysian, karena aku nggak bicara dengan nada sing-lish, tapi sekarang mereka nggak lagi bisa membedakan, apakah aku malaysian atau indonesian) =.="
Well umm, it's time to sleep I guess! Waaah, How I love to be at home again!! =D
Naa, oyasuminasai, minna
kyou wa, watashi wa hontou ni ureshii desu!!! XD
Jya ne
~ASa~
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Ouran High School Host Club
Saturday, 20 November 2010
Dear blog, last night I just finished watching 26 episodes of Ouran High School Host Club. Actually, seeing the cover, I did not think that it's a great anime. But after watching it, OMG! It was awesome! I like the part when it's raining outside, Haruhi was lost and Hikaru ran to find her. He finally found her inside the church, trembling because she is afraid of thunder. To be honest, I really like that type of guy. Ailie really knows me well, she told me, after watching episode 16 part 3 (she downloaded from youtube), I will really fall in love with Hikaru. And hell yah! I am falling in love with him now! He's totally my type! >.<
This is Ouran High School Host Club. Dont be mistaken, this is not YAOI (Gay anime), actually, the one who's holding the rose (brown-eyed) she's a girl. When you watch the anime, you will find that actually she is really cute >.<
Hikaru and Kaoru. The twins. Which one is Hikaru? Which one is Kaoru? Errr... I don't know. HAHAHA
But I like Hikaru more (the character).
And...
This is my favorite scene! (episode 16 part 3!) Kyaaaaaa >.<
See, see, see!! WAAAA, Hikaru is totally cool!!! (Although he's skinny, it doesn't matter), I like him! >.<
But actually, he's not the main character, the real couple is
Hikaru and Tamaki. I love seeing this couple. They look cute together!! =D
The manga is nicer I think, because Ailie said they add many scenes about Tamaki x Haruhi x Hikaru (the love triangle!), O-oh, I really should read the manga!!! XD
Suou Tamaki. He's super handsome. I like his face, but for the character, I like Hikaru more =D
I guess, after this, I will keep repeating episode 16 and the last episode! HAHA LOL XD
Love this anime! >.<
Jya ne
~Asa~
Dear blog, last night I just finished watching 26 episodes of Ouran High School Host Club. Actually, seeing the cover, I did not think that it's a great anime. But after watching it, OMG! It was awesome! I like the part when it's raining outside, Haruhi was lost and Hikaru ran to find her. He finally found her inside the church, trembling because she is afraid of thunder. To be honest, I really like that type of guy. Ailie really knows me well, she told me, after watching episode 16 part 3 (she downloaded from youtube), I will really fall in love with Hikaru. And hell yah! I am falling in love with him now! He's totally my type! >.<
But I like Hikaru more (the character).
And...
This is my favorite scene! (episode 16 part 3!) Kyaaaaaa >.<
See, see, see!! WAAAA, Hikaru is totally cool!!! (Although he's skinny, it doesn't matter), I like him! >.<
But actually, he's not the main character, the real couple is
The manga is nicer I think, because Ailie said they add many scenes about Tamaki x Haruhi x Hikaru (the love triangle!), O-oh, I really should read the manga!!! XD
Suou Tamaki. He's super handsome. I like his face, but for the character, I like Hikaru more =D
I guess, after this, I will keep repeating episode 16 and the last episode! HAHA LOL XD
Love this anime! >.<
Jya ne
~Asa~
Everything is alright
Friday, 19 November 2010
I signed the contract, although I did not really understand what was written there. Ailie read the contract already and she said the contract is okay. Nothing's wrong there. Well, I know I was thinking too much. And after seeing the agent (Amy), which actually the same agent with Jacky's, I know I should not worry too much. Everything's alright.
Actually, I was scared because Caroline's money was with me that time. She handed over everything to me. If something bad really happened and I lost her money (1500 rm, it's much!), how could I returned back 1500rm to her? That was why I was so afraid and asked two of my friends to come along with me.
Well um... I must thank Ailie, at the first place, because she was really helpful yesterday. She asked the girl to give me my new housemates' numbers (because they usually pay the rental fee to the guy there and then the guy will bank in to the owner's account), therefore, next month, after I hand in the money to Yvonne, I can text the guy and tell him that I paid the fee already.
And she also helped me to pack my clothes (I will go back to Indonesia on 22 Nov, and I still haven't packed my clothes until yesterday). She said I have too many clothes (can reach 365 clothes, which means I can wear different cloth everyday). She's right. I brought so many clothes here, so I guess I will just bring back some and leave them there, in my hometown.
Okay, I must thank Jacky also, for sacrificing his sleep to come and help me yesterday. He said he slept at 3, woke up at around 9.50, or 9.55 in the morning (and he said his body's feeling weak these days, dunno he was lying or telling the truth). Well, although he did not do anything much, he just stood there and told me that we have the same agent, at least I felt secure. I know everything would be okay. =)
Sorry for troubling you.
As a reward, I purposely went back to Nichii to take a picture of a flowery dress which I thought suits him a lot (since he's very proud that he's very tall) XD
ROFL XD I feel bad to him, but as soon as I saw this dress, I automatically imagined how if he wears it. AHAHAHAHA XD
Oh okay Jacky, no offense, am just kidding =D
Um, okay, seriously, I want to thank both of you =)
See you next year
Jya ne
~Asa~
I signed the contract, although I did not really understand what was written there. Ailie read the contract already and she said the contract is okay. Nothing's wrong there. Well, I know I was thinking too much. And after seeing the agent (Amy), which actually the same agent with Jacky's, I know I should not worry too much. Everything's alright.
Actually, I was scared because Caroline's money was with me that time. She handed over everything to me. If something bad really happened and I lost her money (1500 rm, it's much!), how could I returned back 1500rm to her? That was why I was so afraid and asked two of my friends to come along with me.
Well um... I must thank Ailie, at the first place, because she was really helpful yesterday. She asked the girl to give me my new housemates' numbers (because they usually pay the rental fee to the guy there and then the guy will bank in to the owner's account), therefore, next month, after I hand in the money to Yvonne, I can text the guy and tell him that I paid the fee already.
And she also helped me to pack my clothes (I will go back to Indonesia on 22 Nov, and I still haven't packed my clothes until yesterday). She said I have too many clothes (can reach 365 clothes, which means I can wear different cloth everyday). She's right. I brought so many clothes here, so I guess I will just bring back some and leave them there, in my hometown.
Okay, I must thank Jacky also, for sacrificing his sleep to come and help me yesterday. He said he slept at 3, woke up at around 9.50, or 9.55 in the morning (and he said his body's feeling weak these days, dunno he was lying or telling the truth). Well, although he did not do anything much, he just stood there and told me that we have the same agent, at least I felt secure. I know everything would be okay. =)
Sorry for troubling you.
As a reward, I purposely went back to Nichii to take a picture of a flowery dress which I thought suits him a lot (since he's very proud that he's very tall) XD
Oh okay Jacky, no offense, am just kidding =D
Um, okay, seriously, I want to thank both of you =)
See you next year
Jya ne
~Asa~
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Is it a wise decision?
Hey,
I was thinking of moving out from Sun-U Residence since the first time I came here. It's because I feel that the room is too small, the internet is too slow, the toilet is a bit dirty sometimes, and... many other reasons make me really think of moving out as soon as possible.
Well, that's what I thought first time. Now I begin to get used already. Although the room is small and the internet runs like turtle, I like staying here. I like the swimming pool! And I like my housemates (except the girl from Srilanka who smokes every night, that's also one of my reasons why I want to move out from here. Actually, it does not really matter because I know she will be moving out soon. But then sun-u residence management want to increase the price. (It used to be 650 rm per month, but now it will be 730rm. starts from next year)
Three days ago I found a master room in Lagoon View. I went to see the room with Caroline (my friend from Medan) and both of us seemed to be really interested in it. The room is bigger (of course!), the wardrobe is bigger as well, the toilet is cleaner and sure, the internet is much faster that sun-u residence's. The price is not too expensive. It's 600 rm per month for 1 person excluding the electricity and water bills. Also, from the window, we can see Sunway Lagoon clearly (it's soooo damn nice!). It's on the 8th floor, not too high I guess. (My room in sun-u residence is on 4th floor).
In conclusion (I asked my mom already and settle all things well) I will sign the contract this friday and give her the 2months deposit. But well, why I feel there's something wrong behind this? The way she asked me to pay the deposit was too rushing. Is she afraid that I will suddenly change my mind and run away? Is it normal? I asked the owner's number from her and she said she will give it to me on friday, the time we are going to sign the contract. The honest thing is, I am afraid that they're gonna cheat my money.
O-oh. I haven't informed the sun-u residence office that I will terminate soon, because I am scared that there will be something suspicious from the contract, that make me change my mind. If I terminate too early, I will not have place to stay when I come next year. But maybe I am just thinking too much, huh?
Now, leaving this place seems to be a bit heavy for me. Why? Is it because I am too lazy to move my things or is it a sign that I will not get used staying there? Now, I am still wondering whether it's a wise decision or not. Somebody, help me!
But I guess it's too late to change my mind.
~Asa~
I was thinking of moving out from Sun-U Residence since the first time I came here. It's because I feel that the room is too small, the internet is too slow, the toilet is a bit dirty sometimes, and... many other reasons make me really think of moving out as soon as possible.
Well, that's what I thought first time. Now I begin to get used already. Although the room is small and the internet runs like turtle, I like staying here. I like the swimming pool! And I like my housemates (except the girl from Srilanka who smokes every night, that's also one of my reasons why I want to move out from here. Actually, it does not really matter because I know she will be moving out soon. But then sun-u residence management want to increase the price. (It used to be 650 rm per month, but now it will be 730rm. starts from next year)
Three days ago I found a master room in Lagoon View. I went to see the room with Caroline (my friend from Medan) and both of us seemed to be really interested in it. The room is bigger (of course!), the wardrobe is bigger as well, the toilet is cleaner and sure, the internet is much faster that sun-u residence's. The price is not too expensive. It's 600 rm per month for 1 person excluding the electricity and water bills. Also, from the window, we can see Sunway Lagoon clearly (it's soooo damn nice!). It's on the 8th floor, not too high I guess. (My room in sun-u residence is on 4th floor).
In conclusion (I asked my mom already and settle all things well) I will sign the contract this friday and give her the 2months deposit. But well, why I feel there's something wrong behind this? The way she asked me to pay the deposit was too rushing. Is she afraid that I will suddenly change my mind and run away? Is it normal? I asked the owner's number from her and she said she will give it to me on friday, the time we are going to sign the contract. The honest thing is, I am afraid that they're gonna cheat my money.
O-oh. I haven't informed the sun-u residence office that I will terminate soon, because I am scared that there will be something suspicious from the contract, that make me change my mind. If I terminate too early, I will not have place to stay when I come next year. But maybe I am just thinking too much, huh?
Now, leaving this place seems to be a bit heavy for me. Why? Is it because I am too lazy to move my things or is it a sign that I will not get used staying there? Now, I am still wondering whether it's a wise decision or not. Somebody, help me!
But I guess it's too late to change my mind.
~Asa~
Monday, November 15, 2010
I hope it was not a bad sign
Hey blog, I just finished my last paper of this semester! For sure, I am officially free now until march next year. I know you can imagine how happy I am. The burdens were gone temporarily (until the time I see my result)-- it's on third of december! I hope I could pass my four subjects (statistic, environmental science, chemistry and biology), Err... yah, actually I prefer higher marks (I mean credit, distinction, but not high distinction, because just see from my effort this semester, I do not worth to achieve it).
Well, actually I want to tell you a story. It's quite funny for other people, but not for me, of course. I almost cried this morning because of my stupid roommate (I bet she wont be upset if I call her stupid because the truth is, she is!). I set my alarm at 7.15 am, but I woke up at 7.30 and just realized that Felita was still sleeping. I know she was going to have an exam at 8 am. Then, I woke her up.
She's shocked, then quickly went to bathroom to clean herself. I went to shower also. I did not bring my key to the bathroom (ya lah, just imagine you bring your key and then you drop it into closet! GEEZZ). So I just entered the bathroom without expecting something bad could happen. I showered happily, since I knew I would end my torture today, right after going out from exam hall!
But then, something that you would never expect happened! After taking bath, I went back to my room. I tried to open the door, but it's locked! My retarded brain turned very fast that time. I knew something bad happened! SHE FORGOT ABOUT ME AT ALL AND SHE LOCKED ME OUTSIDE THE DOOR!!!! HELL!!!
I rushed to chase her (maybe she's still waiting for her friends downstairs--because she used to do that). The lift was stuck somewhere, so I decided to use emergency stairs, and just to let you know, I had not changed my clothes that time, I was wearing pajama! AND BLAH...! She was not there!!
AND TADAAA... the personal duty office was still closed! OMG! You can imagine how I felt that time! The choices are only I would either miss the exam or wear pajama to Monash! HAHA! VERY FUNNY RIGHT??
I almost cried that time. I went back to my unit (using lift this time, if not I would die when I reached 4th floor). I bumped to my room door desperately, hopping that SIMSALABIM, it would be opened suddenly. But it's useless. The worst thing is I woke all people in my unit up.
Suddenly I remembered that they should have another key in security office. I kept cursing on my whole way to the office. And unluckily, there are so many people there, looking at me curiously. I tried to ask the officer and she gave me the keys (but I need to write down my name first and I knew they would charge me 10 rm for the key!).
Then I heard someone called me. It's Ailie. She asked me why I ran around using my pajama, while she's ready to go to uni with me! After I told her the story (I concluded it become one long sentence), everybody there asked her what was actually going on with me! BANZAI! Now so many people know that my roommate locked me. They will recognize my face as the "pajama-girl-who-was-locked-by-her-roommate-and-kept-cursing-on-her-way-to-the-security-office)
HELL YAH!
AND I HOPE IT WAS NOT A BAD SIGN!
(I mean, it did not mean that I will fail my biology!) HOPEFULLY!!
~Asa~
Well, actually I want to tell you a story. It's quite funny for other people, but not for me, of course. I almost cried this morning because of my stupid roommate (I bet she wont be upset if I call her stupid because the truth is, she is!). I set my alarm at 7.15 am, but I woke up at 7.30 and just realized that Felita was still sleeping. I know she was going to have an exam at 8 am. Then, I woke her up.
She's shocked, then quickly went to bathroom to clean herself. I went to shower also. I did not bring my key to the bathroom (ya lah, just imagine you bring your key and then you drop it into closet! GEEZZ). So I just entered the bathroom without expecting something bad could happen. I showered happily, since I knew I would end my torture today, right after going out from exam hall!
But then, something that you would never expect happened! After taking bath, I went back to my room. I tried to open the door, but it's locked! My retarded brain turned very fast that time. I knew something bad happened! SHE FORGOT ABOUT ME AT ALL AND SHE LOCKED ME OUTSIDE THE DOOR!!!! HELL!!!
I rushed to chase her (maybe she's still waiting for her friends downstairs--because she used to do that). The lift was stuck somewhere, so I decided to use emergency stairs, and just to let you know, I had not changed my clothes that time, I was wearing pajama! AND BLAH...! She was not there!!
AND TADAAA... the personal duty office was still closed! OMG! You can imagine how I felt that time! The choices are only I would either miss the exam or wear pajama to Monash! HAHA! VERY FUNNY RIGHT??
I almost cried that time. I went back to my unit (using lift this time, if not I would die when I reached 4th floor). I bumped to my room door desperately, hopping that SIMSALABIM, it would be opened suddenly. But it's useless. The worst thing is I woke all people in my unit up.
Suddenly I remembered that they should have another key in security office. I kept cursing on my whole way to the office. And unluckily, there are so many people there, looking at me curiously. I tried to ask the officer and she gave me the keys (but I need to write down my name first and I knew they would charge me 10 rm for the key!).
Then I heard someone called me. It's Ailie. She asked me why I ran around using my pajama, while she's ready to go to uni with me! After I told her the story (I concluded it become one long sentence), everybody there asked her what was actually going on with me! BANZAI! Now so many people know that my roommate locked me. They will recognize my face as the "pajama-girl-who-was-locked-by-her-roommate-and-kept-cursing-on-her-way-to-the-security-office)
HELL YAH!
AND I HOPE IT WAS NOT A BAD SIGN!
(I mean, it did not mean that I will fail my biology!) HOPEFULLY!!
~Asa~
Friday, November 12, 2010
Two-sided
Someone told me that life has two sides. One side is a bright side where people can find impermanent happiness and temporary laughter. It's the side where there are no tears falling down and sorrow is only nightmare. But another side is (I bet many people never even find its dark side, while many suffer from it constantly), that world is actually dirty, impure, gross, full with malice, jealousy, cruelty, hatred and fraud. Life is mean and has no mercy. It's full with woes and tears
And my belief is, life is never fair. Never will.
Like the popular quotes I often hear, "Life is like roller coaster, sometimes you are at the top but sometimes you fall to the bottom."
But isnt it just too cruel that some people even cannot reach the top part? They always stuck at the bottom. They dont know how to push themselves to the bright side of life. It's just too miserable. That's why I cannot stop wondering why God created the dark side of life and let his creatures trap at the very bottom part, without telling them the way to get up. Does He really want us to suffer that much? Or is it his way to train us become wiser?
Dont ask me. I dont even have any idea to answer it, since I have been wondering the answer for long time ago.
I just hope I could find out the answer by my own.
I wish the answer is the latter.
~Asa~
And my belief is, life is never fair. Never will.
Like the popular quotes I often hear, "Life is like roller coaster, sometimes you are at the top but sometimes you fall to the bottom."
But isnt it just too cruel that some people even cannot reach the top part? They always stuck at the bottom. They dont know how to push themselves to the bright side of life. It's just too miserable. That's why I cannot stop wondering why God created the dark side of life and let his creatures trap at the very bottom part, without telling them the way to get up. Does He really want us to suffer that much? Or is it his way to train us become wiser?
Dont ask me. I dont even have any idea to answer it, since I have been wondering the answer for long time ago.
I just hope I could find out the answer by my own.
I wish the answer is the latter.
~Asa~
Thursday, November 11, 2010
I feel FREE!! XD
Hi Blog, I'm back, with a wide smile on my face
Guess why! Because I know how to hide certain posts in my blogger already. I really thank my friend for this, he taught me the steps patiently, did not care the fact that it's so difficult to teach me (because I am so stupid I guess).
Hey, now I can write everything here. All my thoughts, my feelings and my secrets, without being afraid that somebody will be offended, since I will give the password to only few people I trust. Actually, I dont think I can trust anybody since something happened between me and her. But still I am waiting for someone whom I can believe in.
I know my writings are nothing. They are rubbish. They are childish and nonsense. However, I feel relieve everytime I share my thought here. I find life through blogging (Dwiyanto, 2010)--Well uh, I cited his name because I dont want anybody to say it's plagiarism (Monash is very strict in plagiarism thing) LOL XD
From now on, feel free to read my blog. I will not sue you for breaking my privacy (other case if you hack my password, but you will not waste your time to do such stupid thing). Ask for the password if you feel you are close enough to know all things about me. Haha, but I never promise I will give it to you. =D
Anyway, I havent even started studying Biology. I did not even bother to touch my book today, although I know the exam will be in next 4 days. Actually I revised some few weeks ago, but I dont think my memory is strong enough to remember the whole things.
Okay, after this post, I will start doing the multiple choice questions and revising about genetics.
Jya neee
~Asa~
Guess why! Because I know how to hide certain posts in my blogger already. I really thank my friend for this, he taught me the steps patiently, did not care the fact that it's so difficult to teach me (because I am so stupid I guess).
Hey, now I can write everything here. All my thoughts, my feelings and my secrets, without being afraid that somebody will be offended, since I will give the password to only few people I trust. Actually, I dont think I can trust anybody since something happened between me and her. But still I am waiting for someone whom I can believe in.
I know my writings are nothing. They are rubbish. They are childish and nonsense. However, I feel relieve everytime I share my thought here. I find life through blogging (Dwiyanto, 2010)--Well uh, I cited his name because I dont want anybody to say it's plagiarism (Monash is very strict in plagiarism thing) LOL XD
From now on, feel free to read my blog. I will not sue you for breaking my privacy (other case if you hack my password, but you will not waste your time to do such stupid thing). Ask for the password if you feel you are close enough to know all things about me. Haha, but I never promise I will give it to you. =D
Anyway, I havent even started studying Biology. I did not even bother to touch my book today, although I know the exam will be in next 4 days. Actually I revised some few weeks ago, but I dont think my memory is strong enough to remember the whole things.
Okay, after this post, I will start doing the multiple choice questions and revising about genetics.
Jya neee
~Asa~
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
So, let me know, where is my true friend?
Mereka bilang sahabat baik itu, sahabat yang selalu ada di samping kamu saat kamu benar-benar membutuhkannya. Sahabat karib itu sahabat yang selalu mendengarkan semua keluh kesah kamu. Sahabat sejati itu nggak bakal pernah menusuk kamu dari belakang, tapi dia adalah seseorang yang menyadarkanmu akan kesalahanmu dan menghiburmu di dalam keputus-asaanmu.
And they said, true friends do exist.
Kalau itu benar, dimana sahabat baikku? Dimana orang yang bisa mendengarkan aku di saat aku membutuhkan seseorang di sampingku?
And you may think that I am too selfish. The truth is, yes, I am. But, isn't it too normal for being selfish? I am a human. I am not perfect. I never wish for perfection either, because I know no one's perfect. The only thing I want is someone to listen.
Aku nggak butuh seorang teman yang hanya ada di saat-saat senang. Salah seorang temanku bilang padaku kalau kamu punya orang-orang yang bisa diajak hihi-haha bersama, itu udah lebih dari cukup. Tapi, bukannya yang seperti itu kedengaran... amat menyedihkan?
Kamu hanya punya tempat untuk tertawa. Tapi di saat kamu ingin mencurahkan keluh kesah dan menumpahkan air mata kamu, kemana kamu harus pergi? Apa memang nggak ada tempat untuk itu?
Kalau aku nggak punya blogku, diaryku, dan pensilku, aku nggak bakal bisa membayangkan bagaimana jadinya aku. Mungkin aku bakal menangis sendirian dalam kesedihanku sambil berteriak-teriak frustasi, tanpa ada seorang pun yang bakal menghiburku.
Aku nggak mengharapkan seseorang datang lalu bilang padaku, "hei, sumpah, aku ini orang yang ditakdirkan jadi sahabat sejatimu. Aku memahami kamu sepenuhnya. Sungguh."
Jangan bikin aku ketawa. Aku pasti bakal dengan cepat menjawab, "Aku sendiri nggak bisa memahami diriku, gimana kamu bisa?"
Benar, aku nggak butuh orang yang berlagak memahamiku. Tapi bisakah mereka sedikit saja "berusaha" memahamiku? Aku cuman minta sedikit. Pahami aku walau hanya secuil. Kuulangi. Secuil. Titik.
Aku nggak mau mengagung-agungkan diriku. Aku bukan dewa yang bisa selalu mengerti perasaan orang lain. Tapi dengar, seenggaknya aku berusaha. Aku berusaha untuk memahami mereka, untuk memikirkan perasaan mereka walau hanya sedikit. Tapi apa yang aku terima sebagai balasan? Mereka nggak pernah sekalipun memikirkan aku. Berusaha untuk itu juga nggak pernah. Aku diabaikan dan dianggap nggak pernah ada.
Menyenangkan nggak perasaan seperti itu? When everyone ignores you and says, "Hey loser, you are nothing!"
Bravo! Menyenangkan sekali rasanya, kalau kamu jadi orang yang mengucapkan hal itu. Tapi pikirkan orang yang terkena dampak dari ucapanmu itu. Rasanya seperti kejatuhan benda tajam, dan benda itu menancap tepat di ulu hatinya. Aku bertaruh, dia bahkan nggak akan lagi punya tenaga untuk membalas ucapanmu, seperti, "Shut your f*cking mouth up, garbage! I am not a loser!"
Taruhan, dia pasti cuman bisa terdiam sambil menunduk, seakan-akan mengecil di tempatnya dan merasa seakan-akan dia nggak lagi diinginkan di dunia ini.
And even when you have enough gut to face them, they wont ever listen to whatever you are saying.
Believe it or not, I had ever been in that situation.
It was when I almost did a super idiot decision.
~Asa~
And they said, true friends do exist.
Kalau itu benar, dimana sahabat baikku? Dimana orang yang bisa mendengarkan aku di saat aku membutuhkan seseorang di sampingku?
And you may think that I am too selfish. The truth is, yes, I am. But, isn't it too normal for being selfish? I am a human. I am not perfect. I never wish for perfection either, because I know no one's perfect. The only thing I want is someone to listen.
Aku nggak butuh seorang teman yang hanya ada di saat-saat senang. Salah seorang temanku bilang padaku kalau kamu punya orang-orang yang bisa diajak hihi-haha bersama, itu udah lebih dari cukup. Tapi, bukannya yang seperti itu kedengaran... amat menyedihkan?
Kamu hanya punya tempat untuk tertawa. Tapi di saat kamu ingin mencurahkan keluh kesah dan menumpahkan air mata kamu, kemana kamu harus pergi? Apa memang nggak ada tempat untuk itu?
Kalau aku nggak punya blogku, diaryku, dan pensilku, aku nggak bakal bisa membayangkan bagaimana jadinya aku. Mungkin aku bakal menangis sendirian dalam kesedihanku sambil berteriak-teriak frustasi, tanpa ada seorang pun yang bakal menghiburku.
Aku nggak mengharapkan seseorang datang lalu bilang padaku, "hei, sumpah, aku ini orang yang ditakdirkan jadi sahabat sejatimu. Aku memahami kamu sepenuhnya. Sungguh."
Jangan bikin aku ketawa. Aku pasti bakal dengan cepat menjawab, "Aku sendiri nggak bisa memahami diriku, gimana kamu bisa?"
Benar, aku nggak butuh orang yang berlagak memahamiku. Tapi bisakah mereka sedikit saja "berusaha" memahamiku? Aku cuman minta sedikit. Pahami aku walau hanya secuil. Kuulangi. Secuil. Titik.
Aku nggak mau mengagung-agungkan diriku. Aku bukan dewa yang bisa selalu mengerti perasaan orang lain. Tapi dengar, seenggaknya aku berusaha. Aku berusaha untuk memahami mereka, untuk memikirkan perasaan mereka walau hanya sedikit. Tapi apa yang aku terima sebagai balasan? Mereka nggak pernah sekalipun memikirkan aku. Berusaha untuk itu juga nggak pernah. Aku diabaikan dan dianggap nggak pernah ada.
Menyenangkan nggak perasaan seperti itu? When everyone ignores you and says, "Hey loser, you are nothing!"
Bravo! Menyenangkan sekali rasanya, kalau kamu jadi orang yang mengucapkan hal itu. Tapi pikirkan orang yang terkena dampak dari ucapanmu itu. Rasanya seperti kejatuhan benda tajam, dan benda itu menancap tepat di ulu hatinya. Aku bertaruh, dia bahkan nggak akan lagi punya tenaga untuk membalas ucapanmu, seperti, "Shut your f*cking mouth up, garbage! I am not a loser!"
Taruhan, dia pasti cuman bisa terdiam sambil menunduk, seakan-akan mengecil di tempatnya dan merasa seakan-akan dia nggak lagi diinginkan di dunia ini.
And even when you have enough gut to face them, they wont ever listen to whatever you are saying.
Believe it or not, I had ever been in that situation.
It was when I almost did a super idiot decision.
~Asa~
Sunday, November 7, 2010
How I hope I could dedicate myself to music
I like music. I like my violin, piano and guitar. I love singing. I love everything which is related to music (Even, I like my music book and my treble clef earrings LOL XD)
I hope I could be a genius in music. Hey, you may assume that I am selfish and greedy. I want to be mucisian, writer and scientist. But just dont blame me, I cant stop loving music and writing. I love food and science also, that's why I'm majoring food science in Monash University.
This is my lovely violin. It's made in Korea. First time I wanted to buy Japan's one, but it's out of stock that time. But I did not regret buying this violin, because it is the greatest violin EVER! I LOVE THIS VIOLIN!! >.<
This is Zach, my guitar. I learned to play guitar about three years ago. I am not pro yet, but at least I could play some songs (chords) and some classical songs =D
My piano behind me, then my violin (with white case, cool right?) Then, it's me playing the violin (actually, I cannot remember what song I played that time) LOL
Until now, I still love playing my violin and guitar, I brought them here (to Malaysia). Every week at least I will play them once.
I am supposed to be in grade 6 now, If I did not fail my grade 5 exam. I was so unlucky that time. I injured my left hand. I could not play violin until 1 month. When the exam approached, I did not have time to practice. Actually, I only needed few marks to pass, but the stupid examiner did not let me pass. It made me sad.
My friend said (she's my senior who I admired so much), grade 5 is really difficult, so it's not my fault if I failed the exam. She said she only got pass for the exam, and even my music teacher (she's considered to be a genius) she ever failed her grade 5 exam! I could not believe it!!
But who cares? Who cares for the difficulties? No one. Everybody just cares for the result. If you failed, then it means you dont have enough effort to study, or the worst thing is : you dont have talent.
Although my teacher said I have talent, and I have the right feeling in playing the songs (not everybody can do it), the failure still made me feel depressed.
I wish for another chance, please...
I hope I could be a genius in music. Hey, you may assume that I am selfish and greedy. I want to be mucisian, writer and scientist. But just dont blame me, I cant stop loving music and writing. I love food and science also, that's why I'm majoring food science in Monash University.
Until now, I still love playing my violin and guitar, I brought them here (to Malaysia). Every week at least I will play them once.
I am supposed to be in grade 6 now, If I did not fail my grade 5 exam. I was so unlucky that time. I injured my left hand. I could not play violin until 1 month. When the exam approached, I did not have time to practice. Actually, I only needed few marks to pass, but the stupid examiner did not let me pass. It made me sad.
My friend said (she's my senior who I admired so much), grade 5 is really difficult, so it's not my fault if I failed the exam. She said she only got pass for the exam, and even my music teacher (she's considered to be a genius) she ever failed her grade 5 exam! I could not believe it!!
But who cares? Who cares for the difficulties? No one. Everybody just cares for the result. If you failed, then it means you dont have enough effort to study, or the worst thing is : you dont have talent.
Although my teacher said I have talent, and I have the right feeling in playing the songs (not everybody can do it), the failure still made me feel depressed.
I wish for another chance, please...
Friday, November 5, 2010
Another Lesson
I was taught another lesson by someone I dont know last night. Weird, eh?
Whoever he is, I considered him as an angel who was sent by God to help me, to comfort me and to let me know that I should not give up.
Yesterday someone sent me a message from facebook. I dont know him. He doesnt know me either, he said. But then I was astonished when I read the message. He said, "Good luck for your study in Monash. I know you can do it."
I asked him back, then I know the reason. He graduated from Monash about five years ago. He took electrical and computer engineering that time. It's a tough major, I know. Next, we started to have a small chat.
He told me how lucky he was because he had a chance to study in Monash University. He asked me to enjoy my life here, no matter how hard it will be. He admitted that he felt suffer too in Monash last time, especially in his last year thesis. However, everything was already passed and became memory. Later on, one of my best memory will be on how I struggle in my education and I will be proud of myself. He encouraged me to keep going on. Dont let myself down.
God, I know You sent him to motivate me. I admit I feel sick here. I dont like here as much as I like my hometown, my high school life and all things I used to enjoy.
Now I feel better. I can find the hope. I can find my energy and my confidence. Thanks to you, Mr. D. =D
Whoever he is, I considered him as an angel who was sent by God to help me, to comfort me and to let me know that I should not give up.
Yesterday someone sent me a message from facebook. I dont know him. He doesnt know me either, he said. But then I was astonished when I read the message. He said, "Good luck for your study in Monash. I know you can do it."
I asked him back, then I know the reason. He graduated from Monash about five years ago. He took electrical and computer engineering that time. It's a tough major, I know. Next, we started to have a small chat.
He told me how lucky he was because he had a chance to study in Monash University. He asked me to enjoy my life here, no matter how hard it will be. He admitted that he felt suffer too in Monash last time, especially in his last year thesis. However, everything was already passed and became memory. Later on, one of my best memory will be on how I struggle in my education and I will be proud of myself. He encouraged me to keep going on. Dont let myself down.
God, I know You sent him to motivate me. I admit I feel sick here. I dont like here as much as I like my hometown, my high school life and all things I used to enjoy.
Now I feel better. I can find the hope. I can find my energy and my confidence. Thanks to you, Mr. D. =D
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
What a nice day!
Hi,
I just finished my Environmental Science exam this afternoon. Okay, I must admit that I misjudged everything. It's not as difficult as I thought. Even, I finished answering all the questions in only one hour (the exam duration was two hours). I felt really excited after reading the whole questions (We were provided 10 minutes reading time). Some of them were really similar to the past paper questions, which I had memorized very well! (Just tell you, even in my dream, I also dreamed about environmental things. See how I felt depressed!)
Eventually the heaviest burden was gone. Now I can feel how fresh the air is, how beautiful the sky is and how... generous God is. Actually these few days I kept praying for my second exam (I did not really worry about Statistical Reasoning, I found it much easier than the stupid environmental thing). I was really scared. I calculated my internal marks and I should get a pass score to pass the exam. I cannot imagine I failed my elective! It's just too ridiculous. You will be taking five subjects next semester (you cannot imagine how busy you will be, with three lab reports per week, at least six online quizzes each week and other assignments are coming to strangle you), it's the same meaning that you commit to suicide!
However, I cannot guarantee that I will be 100% pass the exam. I just do not know how the lecturer will mark my paper. In my opinion, my hardworking for this one week was not useless, because I could do almost all the questions! I only doubted one question about the population pyramid blah blah blah, or maybe my essays were a bit short. But I counted already, it reached 400 hundred words, so no worries! LOL XD
Well uh, two more exams are waiting for me, Chemistry and Biology. I must score well at Biology because it's multiple choice. Surely, it is much easier than Chemistry. Okay, I really believe myself that I can do it! And I know for sure that God is always with me. He loves me and He plans everything for me. Well, I know everything relies on myself (I am the one who will do the examination thus the scores depend on me) but since I prayed for last two exam and these few nights I felt less nervous and more comfortable. I gained my confidence back! (I told you that my confidence level dropped until the lowest level few days before exam) >.<
I really must thank God for always standing by my side. I know He will never leave me. He is my savior and I believe in Him!
Well uh, actually I hope I can finish the exam as soon as possible. I look foward to spending my holidays by doing my favorite activities: watching korean variety shows, animes, japanese dramas, western dramas, reading novels, comics, and short stories, and the most important... writing fiction novel (it's my hobby, since I was too busy and could not do it here)!
Hiyaaa, I think I write too much. Everyone who reads this will find my blog is kinda boring. Well yah, I dont care, as long as I can share the things inside my mind, I dont bother to care about anything (and as long as I do not offend anybody also)! Agree? =D
Jya ne
~Asa~
I just finished my Environmental Science exam this afternoon. Okay, I must admit that I misjudged everything. It's not as difficult as I thought. Even, I finished answering all the questions in only one hour (the exam duration was two hours). I felt really excited after reading the whole questions (We were provided 10 minutes reading time). Some of them were really similar to the past paper questions, which I had memorized very well! (Just tell you, even in my dream, I also dreamed about environmental things. See how I felt depressed!)
Eventually the heaviest burden was gone. Now I can feel how fresh the air is, how beautiful the sky is and how... generous God is. Actually these few days I kept praying for my second exam (I did not really worry about Statistical Reasoning, I found it much easier than the stupid environmental thing). I was really scared. I calculated my internal marks and I should get a pass score to pass the exam. I cannot imagine I failed my elective! It's just too ridiculous. You will be taking five subjects next semester (you cannot imagine how busy you will be, with three lab reports per week, at least six online quizzes each week and other assignments are coming to strangle you), it's the same meaning that you commit to suicide!
However, I cannot guarantee that I will be 100% pass the exam. I just do not know how the lecturer will mark my paper. In my opinion, my hardworking for this one week was not useless, because I could do almost all the questions! I only doubted one question about the population pyramid blah blah blah, or maybe my essays were a bit short. But I counted already, it reached 400 hundred words, so no worries! LOL XD
Well uh, two more exams are waiting for me, Chemistry and Biology. I must score well at Biology because it's multiple choice. Surely, it is much easier than Chemistry. Okay, I really believe myself that I can do it! And I know for sure that God is always with me. He loves me and He plans everything for me. Well, I know everything relies on myself (I am the one who will do the examination thus the scores depend on me) but since I prayed for last two exam and these few nights I felt less nervous and more comfortable. I gained my confidence back! (I told you that my confidence level dropped until the lowest level few days before exam) >.<
I really must thank God for always standing by my side. I know He will never leave me. He is my savior and I believe in Him!
Well uh, actually I hope I can finish the exam as soon as possible. I look foward to spending my holidays by doing my favorite activities: watching korean variety shows, animes, japanese dramas, western dramas, reading novels, comics, and short stories, and the most important... writing fiction novel (it's my hobby, since I was too busy and could not do it here)!
Hiyaaa, I think I write too much. Everyone who reads this will find my blog is kinda boring. Well yah, I dont care, as long as I can share the things inside my mind, I dont bother to care about anything (and as long as I do not offend anybody also)! Agree? =D
Jya ne
~Asa~
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