Have you ever?

Hey, I am just wondering... how it feels when we're in love with someone?

Have you ever liked someone until you can't even greet him properly? Have you ever been falling in love with someone until you feel so embarrassed when he's around? Have you ever been in situation when you can't even look him in the eyes but facing to the other direction when he's talking to you just because you're so nervous? Have you ever felt over-excited just by looking at his back and seeing him smiling happily? Have you ever been in love with someone that he's the only one you're thinking of the whole night and the only reason you're smiling during the day until others think that you are crazy? Have you ever been so speechless while talking to him and ended up saying nothing because you worry he can hear your heartbeats and he'll find out your feeling? Or... have you ever been such a coward, that sometimes your heart will overflow but you just can't comfess?
Have you ever felt that way?

No. It's not me. Pity me I've never been that way before. Not that strong. But I could feel how strong the love is when I watched this anime.

I recommend you. The title is "Kimi ni Todoke" or in English is "Reaching You."

I'd like to write the review here, but it will be a very long post, so I decided to just share the picture. You may ask "Mr. Google" if you'd like to know the synopsis. Or you can watch your own if you're really curious how "Doki-doki" the show is =P

 

So, this is Kuronuma Sawako and Kazehaya Shota, the main characters in this anime. Believe me, they are both really cute together. Okay, this anime maybe is a "typical" Japanese teenage love story. But this anime is really realistic, telling you how beautiful to love someone. It makes me wonder, will I feel that "kind" of love someday? 

I like this scene. And I like the moment when finally Kazehaya tells Suwako that he liked her.

My favorite expression of Kazehaya. He looks cute when he's embarrassed or jealous.

By the way, this anime is quite old, I think. Around 1-2 years ago? But the second season just came out 3-4 months ago. I bought it long time already, but I just watched it today since I never have time to watch =(

Well then. Watching this cute-beautiful-naive anime makes me wonder, is it really beautiful to be in love with someone?

Or maybe I should go back to the high school's time, since I am too old for this kind of story LOL XD

Maa. Love story has always been my favorite.

PS: It's not that I've never been that way before. But actually, I've forgotten the feeling =P

~ASa~

I'm coming home

I'm coming home, coming home

Tell the world I'm coming home...

I remember the song, well someone reminded me about that song, which will be very suitable for what I'm gonna do on 17 of June. I'll be home! Yay! 

I miss home, literally. I wanna go home since months ago and tell my family how much I miss them. And today, I finished all the exams and I am ready for home! Well, actually I haven't packed my things yet and I haven't cleaned my room (the room which I am gonna leave for more than 1 month), I should tidy up all my papers and put my lecture notes and lab reports together, since my juniors said they want my reports, so yea, I should gather all the papers. 

By the way, today is my last paper, I've told you, haven't I? And as I expected, the questions were not difficult, well would be very difficult if you did not study at all. However, God really listened to my prayer. Many questions were repeating from the past year's, and the rest, I've read before. So yea, I expect for High Distinction this time.

Okay, it does not really matter now. I just wanna go home. I don't wanna think about the result. Well, I want HD so badly though, but who cares anyway. It's time for holiday. Forget it. Forget it.

I thank God for everything. I feel so grateful for everything He gave to me, really. I love Him more and more. 

By the way, I need to clean my room as soon as I shut down my laptop (and pack my things of course), I'll be coming home the day after tomorrow, oh yea I am so excited, over excited until I can't stop doing something hyper today. I realized I laugh louder than I used to, so yea this is what I call the-after-exam-effect. Don't blame me if I am being too noisy. LOL XD

For those who are still having exam until next week, best of luck for you. Don't forget to pray, because He listens to every word you say =)

(I had fun with my friends today, watching X-MEN and drinking Cha Time, I feel SO FREE! FREEDOM IN THE AIR, BANZAI!)

~Asa~

Depression

So, tonight is the peak of every horror that I have been holding back in these 2 semesters. I know I am not good  enough to score really well like other geniuses did for every subject. But I keep trying my best (everybody does I think) and still, I never get what I really want. I never expect, that today I cry a lot because of this academic problem (I never cried over my grade during high school, since I never failed any subject and I scored very well without studying too hard). But I guess, high school and university are totally two different things.

So yea, I recalculated my internal mark for biotech. I found myself falling down into the deepest despair after knowing what I got. I tried to persuade myself that everything's gonna be okay, but my tears kept falling down. I was sobbing uncontrollably until my eyes turned swollen and my throat was choked. I am scared, literally. I was trying not to worry so much about the past and moving on to study for my last exam, but I just could not. My tears refused to stop streaming down my face. I was totally depressed. I was indeed stressful, I am and I will be until I finish the last exam.

Honestly, I am thinking of giving up now. Because... everything seems to be really tough. Sometimes I question myself, why should I go through such a condition? I am too pampered I guess, I can't stand staying far from home, I miss my family all the time and doing everything alone feels to be so lonely. I know I should be more independent. 

And  I questioned God, why He had to be so unfair to me? Was it a punishment? Or was it a kind of exam to test my faith? I began to accept it since I know I was not hardworking enough last semester. However, for this semester... Hey, I've been trying extremely hard. Won't it be really unfair if I do not succeed? Won't it? I have never been trying so hard before, until I felt truly exhausted and almost fell sick just to study one subject! Was it still not enough? I am not aiming for High Distinction. I am just aiming for Credit, not more. But now I am scared that I can't even pass the subject. I am not asking more, God, but just let me get what I deserve.

The more I think about it, the more stressful I am and the more tears will fall down as well. Sometimes yea, I'm indeed thinking of giving up. However, I realize I have been choosing this path and I should be responsible on the choice I've made. Therefore, again, I told myself, no matter how hard it will be, I will keep trying. No matter how many times I fall down, I will certainly get up and continue to walk because I believe that actually I have the ability. I can score well if I want, it's just maybe the matter of... luck? (well, now I am trying to cheer up myself).

By the way, I feel much better after crying. I am just... too tensed. I am gonna be alright after the exams. But... I am not sure whether or not I have the courage to see the result.

PS: Thanks for your concern, friends =)

~Asa~

Relief

Hi,
Having 3 exams in 3 days respectively is totally not a good memory to remember. I was really stressful during the first three exams and the days before that. Moreover, those three subjects are the toughest amongst all (for me): Biology, Biotechnology and Chemistry. I was focusing myself on Biotechnology. I was trying to memorize the whole BOOK and I almost succeeded. Okay, I may say I was be able to remember the whole chapters in the book until I felt like nothing to read anymore (except the chromatography part, I totally gave up but I was sure that this part wouldn't come out during exam), and I had mastered the tutorial questions really well. But... BLAH, guess what, I CANNOT ANSWER MANY QUESTIONS DURING THE EXAM! Maybe I was too scared and tense until I could not even think clearly. I kept forcing my brain to work and I ended up having headache. I was shivering and felt sick during the exam. And at the end of the exam, I cried. I felt so useless. I had studied so hard until having sore eyes but I ended up like this? I was totally in mess that time. I wanna scream out loud, but I did not have any energy to do so. I could only cry =(
I hope I can pass this subject. I don't want to fail it =((

Then I continued to revise Chemistry since the day after Biotech, I would be having Chemistry exam (so, it's today). Well, I could only study likely 2 hours, then I decided to sleep early because I was feeling unwell. I woke up early the next morning and felt better. By the way, I can't say that I did the chemistry exam well, but I can say it's much better than my biotech. So yea, now I feel so relieved. I only have 1 subject left, and I do not really worry about Food Science since my internal mark is quite high. Actually I expect to get HD for Chemistry. However, I think it's just my silly hope. I know I will not get High Distinction. If I can get Distinction, I will be very thankful. But if only I have more time, I am sure I can make it.

Left Food Science, the last exam of this semester (for me), I will do my best and let God do the rest. I can only surrender. Hopefully, I can get at least Distinction for this subject. Actually I want High Distinction. But yea, I will do my best, I won't care about the result anymore.

Well yea, I can't wait to finish all my exams. I miss home literally =(

By the way I wanna thank all my friends who keep praying for me during this exam period. And for those who keep motivating me also, by saying "Good Luck", "You can do it", "Keep praying", etc, I'd like you know that those words are so meaningful. Now I know, some still really care for me. I appreciate, all. Thanks =)

Best of luck too for those who are having exam. Love ya =D

~Asa~

Untitled

"Fotografer sama modelnya. Cocok banget."

Oke. Jadi 1 kalimat itu menusuk langsung, entah ke bagian jantung yang mana, dan stuck in my head selama berjam-jam. With no reason.

So, ini yang dinamakan galau ya?

*kacau

~Asa~

The Next Niccolo Paganini

Have you heard about Paganini? He's called as the god of violin in his era. Once, my violin teacher told me about him. He's not handsome but he could make many ladies fall for him just by watching him playing his violin. He's violist, composer and guitarist as well.

So this guy, his name is Alexander Rybak. He's a Norwegian and he's just 25 years old this year! I was stunned the first time I heard him playing "Song From A Secret Garden," one of my favorite songs. I was just so speechless. He was really mesmerizing. I could not take my eyes off from him. He's just the way too amazing. And soon yea, I'm falling in love with him. No doubt, he will be the next Niccolo Paganini!

Watch and feel every melody he played. The feeling flows beautifully with the music. I heard this sentence before, "If you cry when you play your instrument, it means you're playing with your heart."

He's so adorable, right? I wanna be like him =)

~Asa~