Dear readers, it's been awhile since the last time I blogged. Kinda missed blogging to be honest, but I have no choice since I don't have time to just relax and write. December was hectic. Actually I don't want to sound like complaining, but well the only word I can think of to describe what I feel in this month is: exhausting. I'm extremely exhausted. My part-time job did drain my energy to its minimum level.
By the way, today is the last day of 2011. I am quite excited to welcome 2012. But part of me is also not willing to let 2011 go. I mean, I've experienced many wonderful things this year, which would be too long if I tried to list them all here :P
Apparently time flies, sometimes too fast until I did not even have chance to capture every moment in my life properly. But no, I will not forget. I will cherish those memories, because you know, some memories are just too beautiful to be forgotten. I just want to thank everyone who has colored my days in this 2011. I won't forget those sweet moments we've been through together, while the bitter ones, leaving them behind might be a wise choice :)
However, sometimes the bitter moments even sharpen your maturity. Therefore, I feel so grateful to have those experiences in this 2011 :)
I just hope that 2012 will be a better year. My resolution? Hmm. Getting good grades, losing weight, being more independent and diligent and loving God and my families more.
PS: Next year too, I want to spend my time more with You and you :D
~Asa~
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
I just can't please everyone
Probably I'm just being over sensitive these days. I know I'm just a fragile little girl who is trying hard to be mature and responsible. Not to brag anything, but you know, I try extremely hard to be such an understanding person. I really try to please everyone. All the time.
Time after time I realize, is it what I really want to do? To please everyone and just throw away my ego somewhere else while realizing that it's been so painful all the time? Smiling even if it's bleeding inside? Trying to hold back while the tears are about to flood? I'm just not being me. What a shame.
Every word feels like sword. Every tone sounds like thunder. And every gesture makes me wonder, where did I go wrong?
Overwhelmed. And I just can't stand.
People change. That's true. Now, it's not like it used to be. And I'm getting tired of trying to please someone who never appreciate my good will. It's like, I tried to hold your hands, but you pushed me aside, walked away without ever looking back. Was it hurt?
If you're not mentally sick, it would be "yes".
However, as I think about it, maybe I'm just wasting my time here, thinking of someone who doesn't even care or want to know about how I feel. Just like talking to a mute. So all I can do is being myself even though I can't please everyone.
I tried hard to pray for this person, but I just couldn't do it. Praying for someone who has hurt you is not easy after all.
I'm sorry for that, God.
~Asa~
Time after time I realize, is it what I really want to do? To please everyone and just throw away my ego somewhere else while realizing that it's been so painful all the time? Smiling even if it's bleeding inside? Trying to hold back while the tears are about to flood? I'm just not being me. What a shame.
Every word feels like sword. Every tone sounds like thunder. And every gesture makes me wonder, where did I go wrong?
Overwhelmed. And I just can't stand.
People change. That's true. Now, it's not like it used to be. And I'm getting tired of trying to please someone who never appreciate my good will. It's like, I tried to hold your hands, but you pushed me aside, walked away without ever looking back. Was it hurt?
If you're not mentally sick, it would be "yes".
However, as I think about it, maybe I'm just wasting my time here, thinking of someone who doesn't even care or want to know about how I feel. Just like talking to a mute. So all I can do is being myself even though I can't please everyone.
I tried hard to pray for this person, but I just couldn't do it. Praying for someone who has hurt you is not easy after all.
I'm sorry for that, God.
~Asa~
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Summer semester
It's been a while since the last time I blogged. Sorry for that, but well it doesn't really matter since I don't think I have loyal readers who always follow my writings. And I don't feel that my blog is attractive enough, you know, I rarely include pictures or video in it. So frankly said, my blog is just too plain and boring.
I don't care anyway. As long as I can pour all my thoughts into writings, I have already been quite satisfied.
So yea, this is my second week of working, the sixth week of Psychology lecture and the first week of Marketing lecture in this summer semester. Am I busy? Yes, I hardly find time to even watch a movie. But surprisingly, I enjoy this kind of situation. Working till late at night, not this part, but I do enjoy my summer classes. Well, to my surprise, I like Psychology more than Marketing. I thought I would fall asleep during Psychology lectures, but no, this subject is really fun. Mostly the topics which had been covered in the lectures were really interesting, which made me stay awake and keep listening to the lecturer carefully.
How I hope I can score well this summer semester. I mean, come on, it's only two subjects! (I'm not underestimating. I am just feeling useless if I can't score better than in normal semester, though in fact I am quite busy with my part-time job).
I know I have to focus on my study first. You don't need to tell me about that :)
By the way, I can't wait for Chinese New Year. Even though I will be only going back for less than 5 days, I am really looking forward to coming back home. I miss my hometown, my family, my bedroom, my piano and my friends (I am not sure whether they miss me or not). So yea, I feel that time moves too slow now.
Therefore, feel free to call selfish. Unfortunately, what people said is true, that humans are never satisfied with what they have. They always want to have what they want, forgetting the fact that actually they have to want what they have instead. So I am one of those, no?
And I am missing someone right now.
PS: I wish you were here.
~Asa~
I don't care anyway. As long as I can pour all my thoughts into writings, I have already been quite satisfied.
So yea, this is my second week of working, the sixth week of Psychology lecture and the first week of Marketing lecture in this summer semester. Am I busy? Yes, I hardly find time to even watch a movie. But surprisingly, I enjoy this kind of situation. Working till late at night, not this part, but I do enjoy my summer classes. Well, to my surprise, I like Psychology more than Marketing. I thought I would fall asleep during Psychology lectures, but no, this subject is really fun. Mostly the topics which had been covered in the lectures were really interesting, which made me stay awake and keep listening to the lecturer carefully.
How I hope I can score well this summer semester. I mean, come on, it's only two subjects! (I'm not underestimating. I am just feeling useless if I can't score better than in normal semester, though in fact I am quite busy with my part-time job).
I know I have to focus on my study first. You don't need to tell me about that :)
By the way, I can't wait for Chinese New Year. Even though I will be only going back for less than 5 days, I am really looking forward to coming back home. I miss my hometown, my family, my bedroom, my piano and my friends (I am not sure whether they miss me or not). So yea, I feel that time moves too slow now.
Therefore, feel free to call selfish. Unfortunately, what people said is true, that humans are never satisfied with what they have. They always want to have what they want, forgetting the fact that actually they have to want what they have instead. So I am one of those, no?
And I am missing someone right now.
PS: I wish you were here.
~Asa~
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