Happiness

Recently I have been always thinking what actually happiness means. How could you describe that you actually have lived a happy life? I just figured out that happiness isn't always described as wealth, popularity, intelligence and beauty. You don't necessarily have to be successful or marry a perfect man/woman to be happy. Well, I know that everyone has their own kind of happiness, though. At least, I have found mine.

I am probably not as pretty and smart as other girls. My family is not as rich as other families. I don't really buy branded bags and shoes, I never dare to buy expensive stuffs without calling my mom first. I don't have my own regular income yet (Don't get me wrong, I think it's just reasonable for me since I am still 20). I am a loner at times who enjoys being alone so much, and I am not famous at all (I was a nerd in high school). I have never gained popularity. Okay, I don't think that being able to win a singing competition in my high school could make me popular since nobody really bothered about that. Nonetheless, why do people care so much about being rich, smart, pretty and popular where actually apart from those, we can find our happiness? 

A question that stuck in my mind for more than a week that eventually made me realize that I have been really contented all the time, well I am not sure since when. 

A friend of mine asked me, "If you can fly through the time and change some moments in your life, what would you like to change?".

I lifted my head and firmly answered, "Nothing. I would change nothing." 

I was really surprised by my own answer, but it was the moment I realized that I could not be more grateful than that. If you know me well, you will know that I complained a lot about my school, hoping that I could do better and get best grades. But again, you don't have to be perfect, to feel contented. Well, talking about being perfect, do you even know how to define perfection? Everybody has their own measurement of perfection. Nobody's perfect anyway. And if you keep concerning about "what everybody thinks" about you, you can never be happy. Trust me. 

Therefore, rule number 1 to live a happy life: stop comparing yourself to others. You can never improve yourself if you just look at others. Everyone has their own excellence and limitation. You can't expect everyone else to be like you, or vice versa, you can't never be like others. Just do your best and you'll figure out how many people are jealous of you at the end. 

Rule number 2 to be happy: don't listen to those people who always spread the negativity. Don't involve yourself to those who can only bring you down to their levels. Choose your friends cleverly. If they bring no good to you at all and suck out your happiness instead, you have nothing left to say but goodbye. Surround yourself with those who care of you, who dare to scold you when you're doing wrongs and those who are able to draw a smile on your face :) Don't waste your time for those who always hurt you. Not to forget, you always have to forgive those people who make mistakes because the time you take a step of forgiveness, you're adding points to your own happiness. 

Rule number 3: don't stop learning to be better. As I have mentioned earlier in my previous posts (I forgot which post), people learn through trials and turbulence. Sometimes we can only learn through hard ways, that's right. Stay strong and be determined. How could you be able to grow if you kept complaining about stuffs and refused to walk till the end? You would never be more mature. And it does mean that you'll never find the happiness of yours. Frankly speaking, those who always rely on others will never find their happiness as well. You know why? Because people are disappointing, when you have no one to rely on, you'll regret your dependence on others. It will be the time you realize that you can do nothing without others. Believe me, you'll regret.

Rule number 4, I guess it's related to the previous point: stop doing things that you'll regret in the future. Examples? Well, I know this is kind of offensive, but to tell you the truth, I always think someone who spends their time and money on clubbing, alcoholic beverages, cigarette and women is just idiot. Those stupid stuffs may bring you happiness, that's right, nothing wrong with that. But is it really a long-term happiness? Tell me what's good about those things I mentioned above? Fun? Refreshing? Releasing stress? Wait until you're 50 years old. You're broke, sitting alone suffering from lung cancer, or gut disease and it will also be the time you wanna fly back to undo your own mistakes. Nah, that's too late.

I know I am too young to tell you all about life. But at least I hope that this writing of mine could make you reminisce yourself, how well you have lived your life. If this writing can't bless others, at least it can be a reminder for me in the future. 

Live your life well, friends. We have no time for regret.

ASA

Relationship

Before the title of this writing freaks you out, let me explain why I decided to write about this. So yea, recently I have been reading and reminiscing lotsa things about relationship (this topic is so happening in my church right now, and I don't understand why intentionally or unintentionally I have been reading many articles regarding this). And the most significant thing that made me realize how beautiful it is to be in a right relationship was after watching a wedding video of my friends who just got married few days ago. Well, I am not sure whether this reason could be valid, but yea, at least I've tried to find reasons why my mind is so busy thinking about these stuffs lately.

Well, talking about the wedding video, when I watched it I was feeling so happy and envious at the same time. I could not find any vocabulary that could describe how beautiful the wedding was. They looked happy, literally. And it was a kind of happiness with no flaw at all. You just couldn't stop smiling when you saw both of them, and at times you found yourself teary. I am just amazed how a wedding could make me feel so blessed although I was only watching it from a video. Just like a ring that fits your ring finger, I believe that God will send someone compatible with you, makes you realize why it never worked out with somebody else.

Let's think about getting into a  relationship. I never mean to lecture anybody here, so no offense. Most of you think that you should TRY to be in relationship first to know whether it would work or not at the end. And most of you think that once you like or love someone, you should TRY to be in the relationship with that person. But there is one thing I would like to tell, although you love a person so much until you think that you are willing to move a mountain or split the ocean just for her/him (I had been in this state before, not to brag), the feeling merely is not enough for a relationship, especially marriage. Feeling gets rusted as time passes by. What keeps people moving in their relationship is the foundation and commitment they built. You shouldn't TRY to be in relationship to know whether it's going to work or not. You should have known it would work if you want to be in relationship. Well, do you all get what I mean here? So again, BE in relationship once you know that it's going to work. Be in relationship once you know you're gonna make it till the end. Well, it sounds like I am selling clothes in the market but yea, "NO TRYING ALLOWED" when you're in relationship. All you have to do here is making effort to survive your relationship till the end, because it is not only talking about feeling, but also sacrifice and humbleness that count.

You should know that going out with someone with different principle and vision would never work for you because you just know you're not going to see him/her in your future either. So again, if you're currently in relationship, but you can't draw an image of you and her/him in your future, I see no reason of you continuing your relationship then. Relationship is not only for a short period of time. It is a life time moment. Respect and appreciate it.

Marriage is a REAL HUGE decision that you've ever made in your life. No turning back at all. No regret is allowed since God never favors divorce. Marriage only knows sacrifice and does not recognize selfishness. When you marry a person, you marry the whole family. It means you're ready for obstacles. Like it or not, you have to be ready to build new family and let go of your egos. You have to think about "giving" not "getting". This is the state where the maximum level of humbleness is required. Well, a lot of thinking to do before getting into one serious relationship huh?

Bear in mind, don't waste your time for games. We play no game in relationship. And I believe, all of us deserve the most beautiful relationship and marriage later on in the future (for those who is single of course), so don't worry and don't be envious. Live your life to its fullest. Don't get into relationship just because you're lonely. Be in relationship when you're ready and mature enough :)

ASA