Random thought

Am I important to you? Do you ever think about me even once or even a second before you're going to sleep? Do you ever regret what you've done to me? Aren't you feeling guilty? Do you think you're supposed to feel guilty? OR honestly, do you realize your mistake? 

No, I never hate you. Okay maybe yea, once. But it's long time ago, before I knew how beautiful forgiveness would be.

 Do you know, I pray for you every night before I am going to sleep. I pray for you so you can at least open your heart and realize that you, yourself, is feeling so lonely. That's the reason why you keep hurting others.  I just want you to realize that actually you're not alone. Everybody cares and thinks of you. You just never realize it.

Well, I never mean to intimidate you. I just want you to understand, if you're feeling so lonely, you may come to me. I'll accept you as if nothing's happened in the past. I promise you.

We are friends, aren't we? 

If you think so...

~Asa~  

Dilemma :(

I'm in a HUGE dilemma. I don't know which to choose. I just can't decide. Or maybe, I just can't let go? Yea, so again, to let go is the hardest part.

Okay, most probably you don't even understand what I am talking about right now. So this is about 'chance'. I was wondering about taking the Chinese-In-Country-Program from Monash. Going to Shanghai to learn Chinese sounds really interesting to me. I can't deny that my desire to spend winter in Shanghai is unspeakably huge. I want to go there. I really want to go there. Well, I am considering the price too, since Australian Dollar is increasing, so it's a bit hard for me (the payment is in AUD). I asked my mother about it, I got a feeling that she'd let me go. I know since I was little, she's been forcing me to learn Chinese. So yea, the price wouldn't be any problem.

But the problem is...

The desire to go there suddenly fades away. It's because of JLPT. Okay let me tell you. JLPT stands for Japanese Language Proficiency Test. The test will be on 4 December this year. If I go to Shanghai, I won't be able to take the test. The next test will be held next year in July. I can't wait that long, while my teacher keeps asking me to join and my classmates were planning to take the test too.

If you're about to ask me, which one is more important to me, of course, JLPT is more important. It is what I called as starting step to reach my dream. BUT, if I take the test, it means I will miss the opportunity to go to Shanghai. I can't let the chance go. I want to go there too. And I want to take the test too. I am too greedy I guess. I know I have to choose either one, but I just can't. I really can't choose. I CAN'T!

About the Chinese-In-Program, this year is my only chance, since I am going to do my internship next year. So yea, what do you think, huh? Which one should I give up on? I don't know...

All I can do is to pray. Hoping that He'll answer my prayer.

(Oh ya, I am not able to join the Japanese Speech Contest since it is only for Malaysians. It's unfair no? I've spent hours to finish the composition of 900 words!)

~Asa~

In Love :)

These few days I kept listening to these two songs over and over again. The first one is Super Junior's "Mr. Simple". And the second one is "0330"-U-Kiss. I am so in love with these songs <3

This is "0330" by U-kiss.

And this one is "Mr. Simple" by Super Junior.

PS : I finally realized that EunHyuk is super cool! No wonder most of my friends like him so much.

Btw, I like Lee Ki Seop from U-kiss. He's a great dancer and he's super handsome! >.<

See ya. Gotta sleep now. I will be having morning classes tomorrow.

~Asa~

:(

I am having gastric pain. Trust me, it's painful enough to kill me. I feel like vomiting out everything inside my stomach. Well...

Don't worry. I'm okay. I feel better after drinking a cup of hot chocolate. But this reminds me of my mom.

I used to suffer from this pain since I was little. Usually it takes 3-4 days or sometimes it will take around 1-2 weeks to recover.

If my mom was here, she would take care of me, make me a cup of hot chocolate and accompany me until I fall asleep.

Somehow I feel so lonely. I need my mother. I miss her so much.

Five days ago was her birthday but I couldn't buy her any present. Seriously, I don't know what to buy. I don't have enough money to buy branded stuffs. Moreover, it will be too late if I give the present in semester break since I will only be going back this November :(

Sorry Mom. I am not a good daughter :(

But I indeed...

...love you.

~Asa~