Time flies rapidly. I just remember first time I came here, and my first day orientation (I did not follow it at all because of the offer letter issue, grr...), all the memories are still very fresh. I can remember the whole things. The orientation-bash, the mid-week mingle thing, my first lab in Monash, my first sci lectures, my first computer lab and the first time I met my new friends here. Swear, I feel everything was just happening few days ago. I never realize that it's October already. I have passed my birthday and I will face my final exam on first of November!
I am not ready yet, I have not prepared myself and for sure, I don't have enough guts to enter the battlefield. Seriously. I am not just joking. I am totally scared. If you know me, you will be wondering why I look so nervous lately. It's because of my environmental science exam, which will be my second paper on the second of November! I dont have enough time to study (Well, for this case, I must blame myself, since I kept kicking up one's heels (I mean, having fun) these few weeks. I never bother myself to read at least one paragraph of my lecture notes!), without realizing the fact that the 15 lecture notes contain too much information that must be digested by my retarded brain!
Here again I confess. How I regret I have been choosing this subject as my elective. The lectures are not only boring, they are also DISGUSTING! (Although actually the lectures gave me plenty of important information... Ups... and I hope my lecturers and my tutors will never read this!) But still, the information needs much time to get into my brain! Too many things to memorize, and it's enough to make me vomit almost my whole organs only by reading three opening paragraphs in lecture 16! (About continental drift and plate tectonics, I am sure you are not willing to memorize all things here, or even in mood to read this!)
Okay, actually I have tried. I have tried all methods to memorize the things. I did mind-maping, essaying, etc, until I felt so desperate (I planned to burn all my lecture notes and then just mix them to my tea, drink it, and everything will be just alright, but the thing is, it wont). At the time, I felt so satisfied because I could memorize the whole thing, but few hours later, I began to feel so hopeless again. I've forgotten everything AGAIN AND AGAIN!
Just want to let you know, the only good thing from those lecture notes is: they DO work as sleeping pills! I've proved it. I slept soundly the night I revised the subject, but I could not sleep at the other night I revised other subject (I've been suffering from insomnia this one year).
Also, the mid test (about one month ago) and the way the lecturer marked my paper, really made my confidence level dropped until the lowest level. I've tried my best that time. I revised everything, did the review questions (well you know, I did it under pressure, because the subject was really torturing), but still, I could not get a good mark. It's depressing! OMG!
My only wish is I can pass this environmental science exam well (just get PASS then I will be very happy already. I dont need HD)! Then everything will be alright. Wish me luck!
Jya ne
~Asa~
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