I have a dream... =D

Well, just to let you know. The title is not related to Westlife's song, or Martin Luther King Jr.'s speech. I just wanna talk about my dream =)

When I was little, I wanted to grow up faster and became a doctor. I just thought that being a doctor is totally cool. Wearing white coat, holding stethoscope, injecting people and curing diseases are all so fantastic! 


Then I watched a Taiwan drama with my mother. I changed my mind. I wanted to be a business woman. Business woman is usually pretty and looks mature. Imagine yourself (if you are a girl), wearing those executive outfits (black-shiny-cool skirt), holding many important documents, attending important occasions and meeting important people. You look important and awesome! LOL


But as the time passed, I realized one thing. Being cool is not an appropriate reason for dreaming certain job. Dream is a hope or a wish for something in the future which we should live on. Dream is an obsession which can lead us to find our happiness.


And I finally found my dream, my ambition, my obsession, my wish, my hope, something I am willing to die for. I have been always dreaming to be a writer. Six years ago, it's the first time I wrote a short story for Bahasa Indonesia's assignment. I was surprised that I enjoyed the process while the whole class kept complaining on how could they write three pages long of A4 paper.


I wanted to write more and more. I created stories, I wrote novel. I read. I tried. I was really enthusiastic as if I found an interesting toy to play with. But yeah, as time passed, I found that it's not merely a toy. It's my dream. Being a writer is my dream. It's not only a blind obsession, since I know I have been falling in love with something called 'writing' for years.


Maybe you're right, my writings are nothing. They're all rubbish. No one ever appreciated it. That's why 2 years ago when I finally found my second dream in science, I could no longer insist on my biggest dream. I would have taken English Literature if the publisher had accepted my script (I sent my novel to one of Indonesia's big publisher), but I ended up in despair. They rejected it. Hence I decided to take Food Science.


I love Chemistry. I really love it, but still, I cannot say I love chemistry more than I love writing. Sometimes I really wish I could dream of another dream. I mean, not writing, because actually I know, this dream will never come true, no matter how hard I try. I am not talented, I just pretend to be. 


I just want people to find 'something' from my writings. I want them to be meaningful, at least people will find them 'remarkable'.


Well uh, I dream too much, aren't I?


Then, I found what I really want to be through my tour guide in Japan, Watabe Yoshiko. She offered me an idea. "Work in Japan after you graduate. Learn Japanese. Maybe you can even continue your study."


I was like, "It's a good idea, how could I... never think about it?"


The next night, I kept thinking of her offer. I kept thinking of my dream. That night, everything was like rotating in my brain. My love of writing, of chemistry, of food and of languages. They kept spinning inside my retarded brain until suddenly I could see a light (it might sound like in dorama or in anime), but really, I saw the light was really bright. Once I felt it's too bright until I had to squint my eyes, so it would not be hurt or at least, I would not be blind because of the sudden glow.


I will continue writing and study science in the same time. I will do time management. After I graduate, I will go to Japan, work there, or if I am really good enough, I can be a translator there, but mostly I want to work in food section since I am taking food science.


Well, I found it. I found what I really want to be. The thing is...


Will I be able to reach it?


~Asa~