Actually I could concentrate better these few days, before the time I saw him again. He's kind of disruption in my mind. I'm not saying that I like him, I am just... well, he gives me good impressions for almost all the time. It can be said also, he always knows the way to impress me. But as I think about it, I am not the kind of girl that can attract guys. I am not beautiful, not a lady-like type. I am not smart either, I am never being too fashionable. I am not charming. I can mesmerize no one. Yea so... You get what I mean right? I'm sure, he's not even looking at me.
Okay, give me chance to emphasize what I mean. I don't like him. I am not in love. And... to be honest. I don't want to fall for someone who doesn't like me first. Well. It may sound selfish. Yea, I am selfish. But I don't want to have one-sided love again. It's too painful and too stupid. Once is enough. It was not merely a broken heart. It was... more than that. That's why I said I am not in love and I don't want to be in love, since the feeling is really torturing. So yea... I am trying so hard to get him out of my mind, even if he refuses to leave.
Great, now stop discussing about him.
Talking about other thing, I feel that my relationship with God is getting stronger. I try involving him in every single thing I do. I know He's always with me, brightening my way with His grace, sacrificing His life to save me, I feel so blessed. I love Him more and more. I can find such a peace from no one else except Him. Like the song, "There is none like You. No one else can touch my heart like You do..." =)
I want to be closer and much closer again to Him. I love God. He's the best thing in my life. I feel so blessed that I know Him as the savior of mine.
And I believe His plan is better than my own plan. I surrender everything.
~Asa~
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