Live as you like

My dearest sister,

Nobody cares if you're gone. Nobody understands your feeling. You are just a doll. You don't have any right to fight for your life. I don't love you. In my opinion, you are stupid. You are not worth to live. You are the stupidest creature in the whole universe. I HATE YOU!

Hey.

Everything I've just said above was not true. They were all lies. I am lying. I am a stupid liar.

The fact is : I care if you're gone and everybody does. I slightly understand your feeling because we're siblings. (I can't say I understand your whole feeling while you never understand yourself). You are not a doll. You are a human. You have right to fight for your own life. You have your life, you are the one who lives in your dream. You are God's creature. God loves you and so do I. I LOVE YOU! Mom loves you! EVERYBODY LOVES YOU! AND yes, if you're still thinking of running away from trouble using stupid shortcut, you're indeed the stupidest person in the world. I hate you for being so short-minded. You never appreciate yourself. And again, if you keep hating yourself, how can others appreciate you? You have what you want and you still think that it's not enough?

I know how it feels like, when mom compared you to others, but well, what are you afraid of? You know yourself, you are better than others. Can't you just ignore her? It's her trait. You can't blame her for being so caring of you.

Sometimes I was kind of envious when she bought you a lot of dresses. You both are same. Never appreciate what you've gotten. Please, listen to me. Please, you better want what you have rather than have what you want. You want a better mother? She wants a better daughter? Nah, isn't it just the same?

Open your eyes. See that everyone loves you. Mom loves you, even she's kinda selfish. You have been her daughter for 21 years. I thought you know the way she usually treats us. She wants the best for us.

Please go and tell her that you are so sorry, otherwise you will keep saying that you are sorry to me which is then useless, I am not your mom and she will never know that you mean to apologize if you only tell me.Yesterday was mother's day. We did not buy anything for her after all. Don't let her upset. She's your mom. And deep down there inside her heart I know how much she cares of you.

Hey, you get what I mean, don't you? =)

~Asa~