The Changes We Don't Want

What if I tell you that having absolute control of your life is merely a myth? What if I tell you that the false notion of having a perfect life is just as dangerous as throwing yourself into a lion's lair? What if I tell you that life is so full of unexpected changes? 

Someone's being taken away from our lives without even a slight warning, it might be the very first unexpected change that we have to face. It always starts with teeny tiny crack. And then we find ourselves missing some important opportunities due to difficult situations we can't control. That's the second one. It's impossible to rewind the time, so another teeny tiny crack of regret has just made it doubled. Last but not least, an unpredictable failure hits exactly in the middle, the crack spreads to the whole surface, until it's broken into pieces. Pain and loss aren’t just obstacles, but those are the certain changes in life.

But dear, let me ask you a question: will you survive?

I talked to an old friend few days ago. From our long deep conversation, I realized how much he has changed. And he told me he’s glad that I’ve changed to be a better version of me. It was the moment when I flashbacked every single unwanted change that forced us to step out from our comfortable shells.

We went through the same pain in the past. It’s hard to decide who suffered more, but most of all, suffering is not a competition, so why would we bother? We went through heartbreaks—not only once—but even if it’s just once, it’s all it takes to change someone drastically. We went through failures, bad times and hardships. Those unpredictable changes broke us apart, but we tried to assemble, collect all the pieces and make some conscious changes to go against those uncontrollable changes, because there’s no way we’re stuck in the place we’re not meant to be.

I used to be a submissive person back then. Whatever the ‘fate’ declared, I would just accept it wholeheartedly. When I injured my finger a week before my violin examination, I could do nothing except following the change and letting myself drift away. When failure hit me, I told myself, it’s my fault. I had to deal with it. It was the first. Secondly, I failed a subject in university and it was because I was so ignorant to pay much attention during lectures. When failure hit for the second time, how I wish I was told to be prepared. But that was not the end of the world, and I believe, it was the time I had to make a huge conscious change to break free from the shells that were tied to those irritating unwanted changes.

Changes are painful—both predictable and unpredictable ones. Apparently, the idea of change is scarier than anything in the world because we have to fight against that fear of unfamiliarity and the unknown. However, worry doesn’t make us strong, it’s how we usually get defeated instead. Therefore, if life is so full of uncertainty, why won’t we take that one brave shot out of our comfort zone and gamble for a (who knows) turning point? Won’t it be much more fun?

Changes are painful, but the pain is what changes us. Then, during the shot, we’ll discover that the journey itself is just half the fun. What has been broken, wouldn't be easily mended. Even if it didn't return to its original shape, it's okay as long as we survived. And the pain will eventually show us that we are capable of enduring what we thought we weren’t. Once we break free, we’re stronger than we used to be.

Thus, waste no time for worries. Changes are what we need. We don’t have to wait for things to get incredibly bad until we decide to make a conscious change in our lives. And those changes, we can always start from Toastmasters, because that’s also where I started mine.

(This is going to be another story to share, so see you next update; although my project ends here but I promise myself to keep updating the blog because I love writing more than anything else).

-ASA-