Dilemma :(

I'm in a HUGE dilemma. I don't know which to choose. I just can't decide. Or maybe, I just can't let go? Yea, so again, to let go is the hardest part.

Okay, most probably you don't even understand what I am talking about right now. So this is about 'chance'. I was wondering about taking the Chinese-In-Country-Program from Monash. Going to Shanghai to learn Chinese sounds really interesting to me. I can't deny that my desire to spend winter in Shanghai is unspeakably huge. I want to go there. I really want to go there. Well, I am considering the price too, since Australian Dollar is increasing, so it's a bit hard for me (the payment is in AUD). I asked my mother about it, I got a feeling that she'd let me go. I know since I was little, she's been forcing me to learn Chinese. So yea, the price wouldn't be any problem.

But the problem is...

The desire to go there suddenly fades away. It's because of JLPT. Okay let me tell you. JLPT stands for Japanese Language Proficiency Test. The test will be on 4 December this year. If I go to Shanghai, I won't be able to take the test. The next test will be held next year in July. I can't wait that long, while my teacher keeps asking me to join and my classmates were planning to take the test too.

If you're about to ask me, which one is more important to me, of course, JLPT is more important. It is what I called as starting step to reach my dream. BUT, if I take the test, it means I will miss the opportunity to go to Shanghai. I can't let the chance go. I want to go there too. And I want to take the test too. I am too greedy I guess. I know I have to choose either one, but I just can't. I really can't choose. I CAN'T!

About the Chinese-In-Program, this year is my only chance, since I am going to do my internship next year. So yea, what do you think, huh? Which one should I give up on? I don't know...

All I can do is to pray. Hoping that He'll answer my prayer.

(Oh ya, I am not able to join the Japanese Speech Contest since it is only for Malaysians. It's unfair no? I've spent hours to finish the composition of 900 words!)

~Asa~